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25th August 2008
advicenator @ : columnist community
If you are an advice column, please consider joining a community specifically for columnists. We are fairly new and small right now, looking to expand. We are friendly and, obviously, helpful. Our community is not for GIVING or GETTING advice but it is for us columnists who just want to relax and discuss our lives, our work, and how we go about doing our advising.http://community.livejournal.com/advicecolumns/profile
We would love to see you join. :) And we would especially love if you decided to send us a link to your column, because we have a special section designed to allow other LJ users to find you for advice! :)
11th July 2008
sexpistol23 @ : Question on...well, prolonging sex
So I have been "sexually active," as it were, for about five years. I usually don't last very long, though. Maybe ten minutes, often less. I have recently started a long-distance relationship with a girl I really like, and the last time we were together we had sex for the first time. We did it four times. Two times I lasted maybe seven-ten minutes, once probably less than five, and one time I actually went for about twenty minutes. I know she came at least once (during the longer session) not sure if there were more.
Anyway, my point is, though we both really enjoyed the sex, I'd like to be able to last longer most of the time; I want to make sure the sex is great for her. Any advice on how I can do this? I do slow down from time to time, and stop and all of that, but it still just doesn't take very long for me to cash my ticket. Thanks!
26th June 2008
redmasque1223 @ :
I'm toying with the idea of having anal sex. I'm 26, I'm never done it before. Any advice on how to? My boy has been asking but he's never done it either. I just want to make sure it's clean and enjoyable.
4th June 2008
ethel @ :
Kind of an embarassing question, but here goes.
Next weekend I'm going to be heading out of town to visit a friend for an...um, fun weekend. Travelling by plane. I want to take some toys and I want to use them almost immediately upon landing so keeping them in my carry-on is ideal, but I'm concerned about getting them through security.
I've done some web research and generally found that obvious dildo-shaped vibrators are totally fine because security people have seen it all, but I'm worried because the specific thing I want to take with me is an Oyster Plus. You can see a picture of it here
. It doesn't look like a normal vibrator. I don't want to use it during the flight; just upon landing by handing my guy friend the remote.
Now I have no problems answering embarassing questions at security or having eyebrows be raised; I just don't want it confiscated or have anyone think it's a bomb or miss my flight. What do you think my chances are of getting it through in my carry-on, especially if I take out batteries and separate the components? I suppose I could always check my bag if it's a problem but I'm curious about my chances of avoiding that. I guess my other option is to pack multiple vibrators and have some of them be more traditionally-shaped so this one won't seem quite so weird. Has anyone here had experience trying to get non-traditional-looking toys through security since 9/11?
(I would heartily reccomend the Oyster, btw. Awesome and quiet and it's great to try and hide an orgasm while you're in a restaurant having a nice meal.)
19th May 2008
bethany_109 @ :
Well, this might be gross and a little embarrassing, but there's probably nowhere better to talk about it. I'm a 22 year old virgin and I think I had an orgasm in my sleep. I know it can happen to girls, but to one who's never had a real life orgasm before? Could it be? I don't know what else it could have been... a seizure? Unlikely, especially since I was dreaming about sexual things, quite vividly. The weird thing is I don't think I was completely asleep, at least not by the end. It woke me up. I have no evidence that it actually happened, except that my heart was still racing when I sat up. I remember trying to open my eyes, but I think they were rolled back. Is that a normal symptom? Also, the ordeal didn't expressly feel good... more violent than anything. Why would I have an orgasm? Is it my body's way of telling me something? I know my mom is one of those unlucky few who can't have one, so I am worried that I won't be able to either. Should I not be worried anymore? Wow, this is so weird to write about to strangers.
20th March 2008
cassinator829 @ : Because We Haven't Seen Enough of These Questions
Okay, two questions.
Have any of you ever had problems with your friends getting in the way of your relationship? I don't mean by hanging out with you or something like that, but maybe one of your friends being a little over protective of who you're dating? If so, how did you deal with it? I've been quite indifferent towards it, and I still am, but I was just curious.( And that other question...Collapse )
12th February 2008
muchograndelerv @ : Love Letter
V-day is coming up, and I wanted to give my boyfriend just a little pre-present. I want to write him a really dirty/sexy e-mail the night before, but...I'm kinda lost. =/ When I'm in the act of sex, I'm fine- but it's confusing to express my feelings and desires with words.
Has anyone else done this before? And if you have, or have some great advice, you mind sharing? =3 It mean alot to me!!!
Thanks again. <333 And Happy V-day!
7th February 2008
_boppo_ @ :
These are not spam questions, I absolutely swear, my boyfriend just seems to be a little deviant when it comes to sex and I really needed an opinion on it. So
a) How normal is it for a guy to be into anal penetration? As in, HIM being penetrated, as opposed to doing the penetration, if he is straight?
b) My boyfriend informed me this evening that he used to masturbate over his mother when he was 14 or 15. Is that really strange, or more common than one would think?
I'm just curious, I guess, as to what other people think about it.
27th January 2008
cassinator829 @ :
Once again, I turn to this group for a little support/advice.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about three and a half years, but we just can't seem to go even a week without getting into a dumb argument. He's always more worried with whether others will like him or not that he doesn't care what I think. He says that's not true and that he's just being nice. I tell him that it would be great if he didn't bend over backwards for every girl that asks for help. He knows that I'm sensitive about these kinds of things and get jealous easily. Mostly because he broke up with me in February for a girl he had said he was just helping through relationship problems (her boyfriend was an asshole, or so I was told). Yeah sure, it was months ago, but he can never just let people deal with their own problems.
He says that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and all that jazz. The thing is, if we are going to stay together that means I will depend on him to help me with my problems and those types of things. Other people are going to have to find someone else to depend on eventually. So he might as well tell them that. What's the point of being in a monogamous relationship if there's no exclusivity at all?
I would love it if these kinds of things didn't bother me, but they do, and emotions and feelings don't follow logic. I don't know whether I'm the only person who feels this way. I hate feeling like I'm being too controlling or like I'm the girlfriend from hell. Even if you guys think I'm handling this the wrong way it would be great to hear your feedback.
13th November 2007
moomerz513 @ : Holy Fuck
Here we are in the living room with my Journal open and we are just going to post as a group now.
I (Neo) left for basic most of my friends were straight. Now most of my town has gone GAY. As a flaming Bisexual myself for 8 years, I am offended at the fact that the new fucking trend is to be "gay". I mean seriously what is it like to be straight anymore. This shit is bugging me so much I might go straight. Okay that was a little extreme but still women are such a fucking hassle. Gay men annoy me to such an extent that I just wanna start swinging, but I feel bad hitting a woman. Straight men are either too homophobic to be straight or such assholes that you have to cheat on them to get any good satisfaction. Women take far too long to change shower do their hair eat talk think or anything of the sort. Hell why not include breathing. *End Rant*
I (Dylan) am a straight male. I have no problem with sexuality however it is far to open and free these days. I am not really a against people being gay however I don't want it in my face. I have a gay sister so how homophobic can I really be. I do not hate my sister because she is gay but I don't like it when she flaunts her woman in my face. I am one of those traditional guys that would have a problem with my girl if she was fucking me and another girl at the same time. Though it would not bother me if she was attracted to other women. So my problem pretty much is that gayness is taking over the fucking world. How the hell are we supposed to continue human life as we know with Adan and Steve fucking all over the place instead of Adam and Eve? Seriously.*End Rant*
I (Max) am a flaming lesbo in the eye's of everyone. I claimed to be Bisex for 6 years. I have had Dick and well.. Men Suck in bed. Granted that is an opinion that is completely my own. Anyways as the third completely gay party I still agree with Dylan and Neo. Seriously what the hell has the world come to when being gay is what put you in the "cool pool" at school. Come on. I remember way the fuck back when you were hung for that shit. I am not sitting here talking shit about the fact that now in this day n age people like me have more rights and I completely support gay marriage and the right to love freely. Since when however is love categorized as sex ? Now all of a sudden it is not loving freely it is having sex with your gender of choice or both genders freely. Where did the love go ? *End Rant*
Gay = Cool ?
Love = Sex ?
Adam and Eve = Adam and Steve ? Fuck Waldo where's Eve ?
----Neo, Dylan, Max----
14th November 2007
trueblue_sales @ : first post: problem
my new boyfriend and i are very close, even though we have only officially been dating for just over three weeks. i have only had one sexual partner before, and that was in my last relationship, when it took me 5 months to decide i was ready to have sex. with my new boyfriend, i have been involved in sexual activity, and i want to have sex with him. however, the other night when i stayed over, we were messing about and i asked him if he wanted to have sex. he hesitated and said, "i don't know" and then a few minutes later asked if i had a condom. so he put the condom on and i was directing him into me, when it didn't work. this sounds a bit strange, but at the time i thought he was too big and he just wouldn't fit inside me, so i pushed against him harder, and then realised he had gone limp. he apologised over and over and told me that it was just because he was so worried that he wouldn't be good enough for me, and that he was thinking about it too much. he has said this before, and i don't want him to feel insufficient, because he is an amazing guy. any ideas how i can make him more comfortable and stop him from worrying about this so much?
13th November 2007
moomerz513 @ : Lesbian Fest 2007
So, I have a foursome problem.
So I have these friends Max, Abby, and Angel. We are all very horny. Now you see Max dated Abby, Abby is now dating Angel and well I wanna fuck all three of them. Max has slept with both Abby and Angel. I don't mean Max and Abby slept together while they were dating I am talking about since Abby started dating Angel. Angel and Abby have both cheated on eachother with Max. Now Abby does not want to fuck me while with Angel, she says she can't do that to Angel. But Abby will shoot(Metaphorically) Max if she even thought twice about sleeping with me. Angel apparently finds herself only attracted to Max and Abby. My problem is that for my entire life, as far back as I can remember I've loved Abby, but I can see when she looks at Max or Angel its a love that she does not look at me with. My question is how do I, either get over or get in her pants?
5th November 2007
kaiousei @ : Oh my, I have a lot to say.
I'm 21 and in my first serious relationship with a guy since spending all of high school believing I was a lesbian. I have enough sexual issues to make many posts on this blog (which is totally awesome, I'm so excited to have a place to get things off of my chest). But I wanna start at the top.
My boyfriend has a job where he works very early mornings. I go to school and have a part time job and get very preoccupied and stressed. He always wants to have sex in the mornings/afternoons and I usually want to have sex at night. Of course, I'm too sleepy in the mornings (I have late classes and usually work evenings) and he's always asleep very early.
So, out of being antsy I took to checking out some porn while he slept, and he got kinda jealous about it. Lately, he's been bad at covering over the fact that he's been doing the same during the day, but now I'm feeling really jealous about it, too. Now that I'm in a relationship, I'm stunned how much sex really matters... and I need more of it. But how?
emptyin_between @ :
"I have quite a big problem though, relating to the boy. When we have sex I keep getting images in my head. When I was 11 I was raped, and when we're together intimately I can't help but be reminded. However, because we don't get time on our own very often he is finished quite quickly, which in a way is a relief because I have no idea how to talk to him about this. I know if I were to mention it he would be upset that I hadn't mentioned before and would think that it was his fault, which I'm sure it isn't. He already has it in his head that I hate him a little because he finishes so fast."
- taken from a recent journal entry. I really want to talk to my boy about this, or at least bring it up subtley, but I don't know what to say or when to say it. Please, any input would be very much appreciated.
4th November 2007
cassinator829 @ : Trustworthy
I guess this isn't exactly sex related (though with some people it could be), but I was wondering, how do other people deal with jealousy when they are dating someone? And if you don't get jealous, is it because you trust them so much or because you don't don't really worry about where the relationship is going?
Every once in awhile, my brain decides to shut down and I get all paranoid about other girls. And I just wish there was a way that when I get this way I could get over it by myself. Earlier this year, my boyfriend dumped me for someone else for a few months, but it didn't work out and we're dating again. He says that he knows it was a mistake and he'll never do it again, but I don't know if that's really true. Obviously, he says it's true, but what if he just decides he likes someone else out of the blue again? I dunno. Any advice?
14th October 2007
denverlaxgirl @ :
ok, well i've been on here for months and never really had anything i needed to post about, but i can't seem to find any information on this anywhere else...
11th October 2007
redmasque1223 @ :
Any advice on how to slow a guy down? I have a um, gentleman caller who comes very quickly, either via intercourse or me blowing him. It kind of sucks. I gave him the boot but now I'm thinking I was being harsh and should give him another shot. Advice?
3rd September 2007
invisiblebunnie @ : how to make friends.
I think I am a well rounded person. I have a nice job in a good atmosphere. I go to college right now full time 16 credits (12 credits is full time). I also am apart of a gym. My job I am mostly surrounded by much older women - like my gym. And to tell you the truth - in college I try and talk to girls my age and they seem to enjoy the conversation but nothing sparks.
I'm envious. Yes. my sister does stay in her room all day long. But she has all these online friends. Why can I not make friends? I put myself out there a lot more then her.
how do I make friends? How to I take a conversation with a girl into a friendship?
Im tired of my one friend that I do have. She is 16. and I am 20. I think that is a big gap. The girl derives on giving others attention for there sorrow. I've got no drama in my life that would cause me to cause such chaos - so today. one night I do have some issues I wanted to resolve she doesn't call me back and when I call her she is hanging out with her boy toy that wouldn't commit to her for the life of him.
what do I do? How do I put myself out there more? How do I get a lot of friends. I'm so confused. life isn't like high school in college. you dont socialize the same way in college. it is a lot different - you dont just make friends with one girl and you're in a click. it's way harder. help
21st August 2007
athena8811 @ :
yes, you all know that I sneak in here and ask for your help when surfing the net has not turned up specific enough answers for me.
So, here goes. I was wondering what the likely hood of getting herpes or a yeast infection would be form just being fingered/fondled? I know most things say thats very rare... I am having some trouble assising my problem.. and although (what I think is a yeast infecion) could very likeley come from another source.. I am just trying to elemenate my options...
any advice or insight on this would be wonderful
28th July 2007
redmasque1223 @ :
I just bought a vibrator (without my husband knowing) and am not sure how to tell him about it. I don't know if he would think it was a good thing or a bad thing. Any advice?
19th July 2007
porn_research @ : Porn research?
I'm currently doing my graduate research on heterosexual males and pornography, and I hope it's all right if I post this here!
If you're a straight guy between the ages of 18 and 26, and you like to watch porn, I'd definitely appreciate your help!
If you're interested, all you have to do is fill out a survey about your porn preferences and sex life. The link to the survey is as follows: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=IoD6JBnx1FPU8vsMiW2pDA_3d_3d
If you have any questions, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
otempora541 @ : Not sex related, but just as important...
If you buy your significant other clothes (shirts and boxers, thinking of getting him socks) do you think that's acting if you're married? He needs this stuff, and I like spoiling him, but almost everyone says I'm acting like I'm married to him! Opinions?
12th July 2007
oh_sunday_rains @ :
HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN A "BREAK" IN A RELATIONSHIP AND IF SO DID IT IMPACT THE RELATIONSHIP POSITIVELY OR NEGATIVELY?
-DID YOU END UP TOGETHER?
-WAS IT MORE TROUBLE THAN NESSICARY?
All i really want is for my boyfriend to show he cares by showing up on time, and picking up after himself, and doing something nice for me every once in a while. how can i achieve these things, it just seems like we fight about the same old stuff all the time. its very stressful. i love him very much and he loves me too. how can we overcome these everyday differences and does taking a break help either of us realize what we are missing and or what we need to fix in ourselves.
any related articles, websites or books would be great.
2nd July 2007
polekatz @ : Lurrrrve Question...
I was talking to a friend the other day and her and I got to discussing love. She believes that everyone has a "true" love - however, I'm not totally sure what that means. Does that mean relationships you've been through and the people you went through it with was based on "fake" love then... my take on this is... love is just love - its constant. The end. She said she wouldn't take me as someone to believe this concept because I don't even want to get married (whatever that's supposed to mean).
The conversation came about when I said two people in a relationship will never love each other equally. There will always be someone who'd love a bit more. She disagreed with that... she said when there is "true" love those people are meant to be together... she gave an example of an elderly couple that were together for a long long time. The husband became sick and seeing all this the wife died of a broken heart... a few days later the man passed away.
I replied and said "I know people die of a broken heart... but it just seems like his wll to go on was stronger than her thought of potentially losing him... hence one love could be "stronger" than the other.
Does anyone have a take on this whole "true" love bit?