sexpistol23 (sexpistol23) wrote in askday,

Question on...well, prolonging sex

So I have been "sexually active," as it were, for about five years. I usually don't last very long, though. Maybe ten minutes, often less. I have recently started a long-distance relationship with a girl I really like, and the last time we were together we had sex for the first time. We did it four times. Two times I lasted maybe seven-ten minutes, once probably less than five, and one time I actually went for about twenty minutes. I know she came at least once (during the longer session) not sure if there were more.

Anyway, my point is, though we both really enjoyed the sex, I'd like to be able to last longer most of the time; I want to make sure the sex is great for her. Any advice on how I can do this? I do slow down from time to time, and stop and all of that, but it still just doesn't take very long for me to cash my ticket. Thanks!
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Breathing is a very big part of it. Breathe deep and out deep. When you feel the climax coming just remember to keep pace if you want to finish or slow down your body and breathe deeper to try and unwind yourself. This has worked for me and I've been able to go about an hour before I can't stand holding off anymore because then it just kind of turns into a personal battle of will.

I dunno, this has worked for me, might work for you.
I'll try that, thanks.
Are you counting foreplay in your "lasting" time, or is it just once you start having sex? If it's the latter, then you're lasting plenty of time, and actually if it were my boyfriend lasting 20 minutes I would be pretty anxious for him to finish (I'd be feeling very sore by then). The trick is to make the session last a long time way BEFORE you start with the sex. Lots and lots and lots of foreplay! :)
Ah, well, if I count foreplay then we probably went for 45 minutes to an hour each time. The ten minutes thing was just the actual fucking aspect.
Yeah, then you're lasting PLENTY of time. Don't worry about it.
I tend to agree with etherealclarity.

It sounds to me like part of your concern here is not so much about lasting longer, but rather making sure your partner gets off before you're done. If that's the root of your concern, here's what I would suggest:

Talk with her about it. how does she feel about it? did she enjoy herself (and you!) as much as she'd like? does she normally get off from having intercourse, or are there other/better/easier/preferable ways for her to achieve orgasm? i have had a few friends and/or lovers who enjoy intercourse but have never gotten off during it -- they rely on oral or manual play for that, and treat fucking as a pleasurable way of connecting with their partners and/or getting them off.

Even if intercourse is one way for your girlfriend to reach orgasm, it may not be the only way. If longer duration is actually something that will help her there (or if you both would just like to be able to spend more time fucking) then by all means: work on it! But don't forget the inestimable pleasures of oral sex. I have had partners who can come for an astonishing long time under the ministrations of a well-applied tongue; I doubt I could keep up if I relying on fucking for that kind of stimulation. If she's already deliciously gratified by a bout of oral before you get to the fucking, that may change her experience of intercourse itself. (For one thing, she may find it much easier to come quicker since she's already well warmed up!)
This is very good advice, and I do plan to talk with her about it next time we're together. Thanks!
you're welcome =) good luck and have fun!